When you can't get what you want
by Angelica R
Summary: [7x16 AU] : "Jack looks at Henry and dreams of a life which never was." One-sided Law Believer. Introspection on Nick while he is at Roni's when Henry goes to talk to him. No serial-killer thing. Glass Believer evoked.


When you can't get what you want.

[7x16 AU] : "Jack looks at Henry and dreams of a life which never was." One-sided Law Believer. Introspection on Nick while he is at Roni's when Henry goes to talk to him. No serial-killer thing. Glass Believer evoked.

 **Author's note :** **AU where Nick was woken-up by Regina and Zelena,** **and Henry can't wake up because he still doesn't believe. Oh, and I just wanted to write some sad and non-reciprocal Law Believer. Because I love angst ! (But as with StepQueen I will one day write something more joyous about them.)**

It had been since only some hours that Jack was awake, but it looked like it happened since many days.

He should have seen it coming, when Roni and Kelly, accompanied by Margot, came to see him, the last evening, after his evening with Henry and Rogers.

He should have understood something was wrong the second he saw their face, the second they proposed him a drink, just after Rogers and Henry left, him deciding to stay because he had to think about something.

Things which were about Henry, more precisely.

But he hadn't really time to think about it, as the three women came in his direction.

He should have known since a long time that this town was not normal.

And they proved this to him, by making him drink their memory potion.

When he felt his memories come back in his head, the young man almost screamed.

And Regina – because yes, it was her real name – gave him a sad smile.

"I'm sorry, she whispered, knowing how hurtful it could be to learn the truth.

And now, here he was, at Roni's, thinking about his life as Nick _and_ Jack, trying to link these two lives together, the one he lived but forgot, and the other one which was never real, but which was the only one he knew since last day.

Because he couldn't deny the fact that he was both Jack and Nick.

He was Nick, the lawyer, Lucy's father and Jacinda's ex-boyfriend.

It was how he lived since two years, since the curse hit them, and he couldn't say it hadn't been him, even if all of this had been faked.

But he was Jack too, and it was more difficult to accept this fact, because it meant he was the Giant killer, that he was Hansel too, that his sister was now gone, forever.

And it meant too that he had no one.

Oh, indeed, he had Henry as a friend, it was true, even if the other man didn't remember who he really was and also who he represented for him.

And he wasn't completely lonely too, he had some friends, like Ella, Robyn, Alice, maybe Tiana too, and other, even if Henry was his closest friend, the only person who really understood him.

But, as Nick, he had something Jack never had since the day he lost Gretel : a family.

He had an ex-girlfriend who became his friend, a daughter… He had people who cared about him, and for who he himself cared for.

Moreover, being Nick, he had no idea of who Henry Mills really was for him.

Well, that was not entirely true.

Nick Branson felt something the second he "met" Henry Mills, something like a connection, and Jack was now sure that Henry felt it too.

The fact that they knew each other.

Jack, being cursed as Nick Branson, had been cursed to fall in love with Jacinda Vidrio, that was a fact.

But for sure, all the feelings he ever thought he had for her vanished the second he saw the handsome man waiting for who knows who, listening to the type of music he loved the most.

And at this precise moment, Nick felt something he never felt since what he lived (or thought he lived) with Jacinda.

And he didn't understand what it was, not realizing it was just the real him trying to resurface from where it was hidden : behind his curse persona.

That was the reason why Jack was here, at Roni's, trying to make the real Jack, the one who was in love with his best friend, disappear.

With alcohol, during the morning, and of course it was a bad idea !

As Nick, he didn't get all the sufferings Jack had, and it was more… _easy_ , in a sense, to deal with the feelings Henry was provoking in him, because yes, he had no idea at this time that it was love, and well, he had no idea Henry and Jacinda were Henry and Ella, and that they were True Love.

And he had no idea that in the real version of the story, they were supposed to be together and happy.

He had no idea that he was not supposed to take a part in this story.

This was how Henry found him, sad and melancholic, and being the good and kind man he was, he asked him what was wrong, and Jack rapidly told him some lie that Henry didn't believe, of course, because he knew him better than he thought he did, and so they talked together.

And as usually, as he always did, Henry was succeeding to make him feel better, just by talking and being with him.

Jack had a sad smile, thinking about how wrong Henry could be about the entire story, and a terrible and selfish part of himself hoped that the other man never remembered.

 _§§§§_

Jack looks at Henry and dreams of a life which never was.

It had been since a long time that he accepted his feelings for Henry, and either, it had been since a long time that he accepted the fact that the other man would never feel the same way toward him.

He was… _okay_ with this, even if it still hurt.

And he surely hoped that Henry would in the end be reunited with the woman he loved, with this dear Ella that Regina and Zelena were now trying to wake up.

But a part of him wished things were never this way, a part of him wished there was no curse, he wished he really was Nick Branson, and that Henry was just Henry Mills, the author, not Henry Mills, the hero and savior.

He wished he could have a chance to get a happy ending in this version of the story.

But wishes were just wishes, right ?

Nothing else.

Jack had a sad smile, before he ended his glass, thinking that in the worst option of end of this story, if the curse was never broken, Henry may never remember him.

And Jack asked himself if then, Henry would ever be able to show him this "Star Wars thing", as he promised he would do so.


End file.
